I was mugged
Is it really 21 days since I sat down and wrote my last blog?
It feels more like last century than last year.
I won't bother rummaging around looking for adjectives to try to describe those three weeks. In truth I would struggle to recall the content and would definitely be unable to connect the dots which lead to my recent mugging.
Did I mention I was mugged?
There I was strolling quietly through the tired old landscape of Christmas and New Year celebrations(!), shaking hands with familiar triggers and patterns, practicing loving whatever shows up, trying to explain what I do to my family (again) and all of sudden...Wham! (I am not talking about Last Christmas by Wham!. No. This was something even more frightening than George Michael).
Those patterns and their associated collection of emotions, you know the usual suspects shame, guilt, remorse suddenly stepped aside to reveal an unexplained void. An unexplained panic. My mind raced to identify and thereby control the violation of its version of reality. But my mind had been mugged and left to lick its wounds as a greater version of "what is" enveloped me.
Sounds dramatic. Felt shit. But passed as quickly as it appeared.
I have since had any number of conversations with people who had different versions of the same experience. Funnily enough we all survived. Funnily enough we all have a slightly different perspective on that void. Funnily enough we are all stepping into a lightness of being and stability, dare I say it even peace.
My "mugging" was simply another shift, another step on the path to an abiding awakening as old structures and entities, in my case thoughts and beliefs, were shaken free. The dissolution of these identifying thought forms scream at the mind for attention, the death throes of a drowning idea, a dying paradigm. In my case they normally take the form of "you are a fraud", "none of this is real", "how could you have believed this crap", "get a grip" and a number of other old favourites.
However, this particular mugger was smart, and took me into a space beyond the reach of the mind. No room for rationalisation, out of range of the old voices and their "bad advice". As terrifying as it may be to enter that space it provides a perspective which makes it difficult to leave. In fact there is little reason to leave that space, there is "no-thing" in the old structures worth leaving it for. From the mind's perspective that in itself is a terrifying prospect, but the mind lacks the oxygen to breathe life into old ideas in that space and relaxes into a different way of operating.
My suspicion is that an increasing number of people will be experiencing this shift in as many different ways as there are people. For some it will be a temporary flash of awareness for others a more abiding realisation.
However the awakening shows up it will almost certainly lead to a general disorientation, disillusion and confusion and it for this reason we are entering (well have entered actually) a time of great instability. A brief look at the world tells the story. The craziness being demonstrated by the powers that be are collective versions of the voices in my head. The death throes of a tired system. The actions become ever more extreme in an attempt to assert their relevance.
The fact is that the instability is only relevant from that old perspective. The space into which we are inevitably moving , one at a time perhaps, but collectively shifting nonetheless, is unshaken by the instability, unimpressed by the noise of the old, too busy feeling out the operating system of the new earth to give attention to the screaming of the irrelevant.
Promises to be interesting,
Happy New Year
Bill