It's different this time

"Coherence can be heard above the noise, felt through all the harshness and has no need to be right, it just is."

I was really moved this morning when I read the torment of the mother of a suicidal nine-year-old. The article describes one of the children who we have worked with known affectionately as "one of our kids". A hypersensitive who didn't like loud noises or the feel of certain clothes (classic markers for "one of our kids"), who looked clever and articulate at five, but rude, stubborn and obstinate by the age of seven.

The article looks at the failings of the mental health care system in providing support for these children, but never brings into question the systems themselves. It seems to me we are looking at the wrong people as being ill. I've used this quote to death but it never loses its impact on me when I am feeling, lets say 'disconnected' from society."It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" - Krishnamurti

This brief passage from the article says so much : "It was Paul who asked his parents if he could see a doctor. He knew he was having concerns and problems not appropriate for his age. Why did he worry so much about homeless people, about injustice around the world, wars..."  A highly sensitive being finds the world we live in unbearable is considered to have mental health issues? May I suggest anybody unmoved by the plight of the homeless, or injustice or war is in fact the one needing to take a look at their mental well-being.

These kids are like canaries in a coalmine and are highlighting our own mental illness but we are so far gone we just want to make them adjust to our insanity. Our answer is to put a gas mask on the canary and send it back down the mine until it says the air is fine! They are our mirrors, reflecting ourselves beautifully, but just like the anorexic looking in the mirror our view has become so distorted we find it impossible to see the truth.

It's different this time

I feel I was so moved by this particular article because I am currently experiencing a heightened sensitivity which is both empowering and scary at the same time. Empowering as it allows access to information and fields of possibility which give a glimpse of who we actually are. Scary because it strips bare fields of thought and motivation which are quite frankly alien to my processing and often overwhelming.

I am aware that what I am experiencing is being shared by many and has been an ongoing process for a number of years but there is definitely an acceleration and urgency at the moment. It seems that all the suppression and defence I had subconsciously put in place to allow me to function in the world are being torn down and I am returning to my natural state of that sensitive child in a harsh environment.

But it's different this time.The powerless child is now a sovereign being, able to choose and discern. The fear of not being able to function or survive in the world is dissipating and the sensitivities can inform my expression rather than throwing me into fight/flight defensive mode.

Learning to navigate the world with this sensitivity on-line takes a certain courage and trust. Doing what feels right as opposed to what is considered right is taken to a new level. I find myself withdrawing from situations, people and circumstances which don't feel coherent. The challenge is that so little and so few feel coherent. My conditioned mind tells me to stop being stupid and engage, and tells stories of isolation and hermitage. However, the richness of the coherent, be it nature or an unconditional relationship or exchange, is enough to sustain many life times.

To be in this world with heightened sensitivity it is essential to give my attention to the coherent and there is plenty of it about. The incoherent is noisy, demanding, judgmental and insistent on its own rightness. When I find myself opposing it, in fact especially in opposing it, I become a part of it as I an attempt to assert my own rightness. I recognise the incoherent by it's demand for explanation.

Coherence can be heard above the noise, felt through all the harshness and has no need to be right, it just is.  

The withdrawal caused by my sensitivity as a child was from a place of survival. My current withdrawal, most of the time, is from a point of conscious awareness. My attention is reserved for that which feels clean, unconditionaland coherent. As more and more people withdraw their attention and energy from the incoherent an alternative world emerges in which sensitive children, like Paul in the article, no longer feel so alienated they want to leave this planet. 

"If you want to know your past life look at your present condition; if you want to know your future life, look at your present actions."  Padmasambhava.

This quote reminds me that we know how we have chosen in the past and we are living with the consequences, so painfully demonstrated by so many of our children. To create the environment in which we all can thrive we must be conscious of our present actions, and the most powerful action is the choice of your attention point. 

Choose well.

Love

Bill