Relationships ... gulp!

Last week I sat down to write my piece having courageously decided to address that thorniest of subjects, relationship. As with my previous hundred attempts to address the question of relationship I was unable to pull together a coherent representation of my thinking and so wrote something far less challenging. I am English after all and I will happily talk about the weather for hours, but do not dare ask me how I am feeling!

So attempt 101. A far from complete attempt, but a start!

My mind chatter around this subject is happy to point out that I am rubbish at relationship with a typical "who are you to have an opinion?", urging me instead to "talk about the weather or last night's game". And to be fair, my internal critic does have a point.

I find the conditional nature of relationship not only difficult to adhere to but actually very dis-empowering. So in terms of accepted third dimensional relationship my internal critic is bang on. I suck! 

I feel this area is challenging to address because it questions the very nature of what people call love. This word, like so many, has been hijacked by the mind becoming more conceptual than felt, more of an idea than experience. Diluted by it's cheap overuse it is has become a tool of manipulation, "how could you do that if you love me!" type of stuff.

It is for this reason I will return to an old habit and capitalise the word when used in its more authentic higher dimensional context. LOVE is unconditional. In the third dimension, whose hallmark is conditionality, LOVE does not exist, just its bastardised cousin, love, which uses its (limited) power as a bargaining chip.

This doesn't mean that only enlightened beings and ascended masters have experienced or have access to unconditional LOVE. We all have and indeed feel and express it frequently. In those moments of unconditional expression we are, by definition, no longer operating in a third dimensional reality, which is why it feels so good. When people speak of moving to a fifth dimensional reality there is no actual movement but simply an ability to hold LOVE in the space you are already in. To relate to someone or something without wishing to change them in any way or require anything from them is an act of great spiritual maturity and we have all held that space at some time or another.

The fact that LOVE feels so good is one of its challenges. Our third dimensional operating system is wired to relentlessly seek that feeling and so its appearance, however brief, triggers a desire to hold onto it. The fear of losing LOVEor the attempt to preserve it immediately throws us into lower case (love) as we associate a person or circumstance with the feeling and begin to work out how to maintain or recreate that experience. In other words we fall back into conditionality turning the experience of LOVE into the idea of love in the process.

Everybody's idea of love differs and most relationships which fail do so because the two different ideas of love do not coincide. In the conditional world relationship is a dance of different ideas attempting to agree upon and establish the circumstances which are most likely to access LOVE. It's less common for people to fall out of LOVE than it is for their idea of love to do so.

This works well for some in the traditional structures, as relationship becomes a type of trade in ideas of how things should be. In fact it is very common to hear the advice that good relationships are based on compromise. This in itself is the conditional speaking, motivated as it so often is by survival, a strange sort of admission of failure.

To question people's ability to love is not a good way to make friends (or start a relationship!), and this is not just the intimate romantic connections. This goes into that unquestioned seat of love for many, the family. It is common to believe the family is the most likely place to find unconditional LOVE but perhaps it is just somewhere our patterns and ideas find the most sympathetic resonance?

Even when you are at constant war with your family, in fact particularly when you are at war, it is just another resonant pattern. For example, my brother and sister love each dearly simply because they know where the hate is. They have an easy and cheap energy source which operates even when they don't see each other for months. Just a series of thoughts flicks a switch in them which confirms their version of reality, allowing them to reside safely in their story, sharing their grievances with other participants (often me), allowing us all to draw energy from each others' broken dreams. This energy is often described as love which is why that word has become so difficult for many. This energy bears no resemblance to LOVE but is enough to get us going in the morning!

If, as seems so obvious at the moment, the predominant attention point is shifting into an unconditional space, or fifth dimension, then be prepared for a shift in the dynamics of relationship. To move fully into the experience of LOVE means not to attempt to grasp at or attempt to hold on to it and this brings into question so many of the structures and assumptions ofour current modus operandi. It requires a faith and fluidity that is contrary to the contractual, written or unwritten, agreements which currently underpin the way we relate.

The shift into the unconditional is already challenging many who feel the constraint of arrangements made from a place of scarcity and survival. This will impact relationships of every nature, from romantic and family to economic and political. Those holding onto to traditional beliefs (and perceived power) will pull out familiar arguments about sin and the breakdown of society, but sin is just a construct of conditional existence and the society they are attempting to preserve doesn't feel that healthy at the moment. 

Time to LOVE not love.

LOVE

Bill