A Good Soul
Its been awhile
I have started this newsletter so many times over the past month I've lost count but there has been so much going on that it has been difficult to take stock. The external world is changing so fast it can be disorienting at times. As ever this is just a reflection of the internal transformation I have been writing about for years. Indeed for those who have been consciously playing in, experiencing and facilitating the "shift" it seems to have been going on forever. I was reminded of that fact when Facebook flagged an old blog I wrote 4 years ago called Group 4 . A quote by Dee Hock from that blog is a nice reminder of where we stand:
"Whether we recognise it or not, whether we welcome it or not, whether we will it or not, whether its constructive or not, we are caught up together, all of us and the earth as well, in the most sudden, the most profound, the most diverse and complex change in the history of civilisation. Perhaps the history of earth itself."
If you are feeling fatigued by the process, disoriented, discouraged, impatient or even bored bear in mind the significance of this moment in time and your role in it. Losing sight of the bigger perspective demanded by the evolving consciousness is, for me at least, a frightening process. To fall back into the accepted "reality" with its basis in lack and limitation is just too uncomfortable a place in which to reside. If I start believing the projected third dimensional reality I can quickly become depressed or more accurately dispirited.
When depression or anxiety arise I take it as a signal I am somehow clinging onto an old internal model of reality to which I am no longer a match and as such those discomforts can be viewed as a gift. It is my body consciousness working. It is a sign that I am focusing on thought, or more specifically thoughts which are out of time, as opposed to giving my attention to reality, or the present moment.
Those feelings are a reminder to connect to the emerging reality, as opposed to trying to adapt to or give credence to an irrelevant one. Just as when my waistline expands it makes my old jeans uncomfortable, when my consciousness expands the old limited thought forms no longer fit. Like a Polar Bear pacing in a zoo, any depression is a logical response to an unsuitable environment.
The answer is not medicate or even meditate myself into acceptance of something which isn't a match....as Krishnamurti says "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society". The answer is to choose an environment (thoughts, feelings and attention points, as well as the physical) which are in alignment with my being.
A Good Soul
Life doesn't give you what you want, it gives you what you require.
When what is required leaves you a little overwhelmed it may be better not to dig too deeply in an attempt to understand. Our desire to understand is normally rooted in an attempt to control or alter what is happening, but if what is required is really important my advice is to just surrender to it and respond to whatever shows up next.
I sat with my father-in-law Cliff on Saturday morning as he passed away gently in the arms of his daughter Sue. He died as he had lived, and that was well. His last words to me were on Friday night when he said "If you don't take me home tonight you will regret this tomorrow." I got his point, and he was right in part, he died on the Saturday morning, but was wrong to suggest I would feel regret. He died beautifully and I was privileged to be witness to it.
Cliff was an old fashioned working class gentle man, which in my book made him a real gentleman. Blessed with neither money nor education this man KNEW right from wrong. Despite traveling the world in the merchant navy (where I am sure he saw more than a little bit of life) I didn't hear Cliff swear until he was 90 when they took his driving license away and he declared that the decision a right bollocks up. I laughed so hard and at the same time realised how much I had come to love that man. From that moment the floodgates didn't exactly open but as I spent more time caring for him over the following couple of years a less restrained version of Cliff revealed itself, and as his world contracted his vocabulary expanded!
Despite the language Ciff was a good man.
Ironically we were due in Cardiff that weekend for the funeral of the father of Sue's best friend. Cut of a similar South Walean cloth as Cliff, Eric (you've got to love those old names) was a "good" man. The tribute described how Eric had turned down the opportunity to become a professional footballer, choosing instead the security of a career in accountancy. He always put his family first and lived a full and happy life, evidenced by the fact that there was standing room only as those who survived him wished him well.
Both these men were selfless. Principled. Good men
Their Goodness was a product of their times. Good being service to what was was considered right. Their Goodness was abused to the extent that their generation selflessly gave their lives and took others fighting wars which required them to over-ride their humanity for the sake of ideologies. The selflessness of these men is easy to admire as they gave all for their families, but their unquestioning obedience to authority was an unequal trade. The generosity of their spirit was too often unaccompanied by critical thought.
We cannot afford another generation of Good men.
Love
Bill