Good or Bad?
"We spend our lives doing good things thinking they are bad and doing bad things thinking they are good."
David Whyte
I love this quote.
It throws a confused light on our continual self-appraisal and brings into question the very idea of good and bad, mocking the act of judgement in the process.
It is not just our mind which assesses our choices. Our emotional body likes to get in on the act too. If the mind is the judge, the emotions are the jury. Our ego is a collection of beliefs, ideas and judgements which create our identity or our idealised version of who we are and how the world should be.
Ego could well be an acronym, standing for Emotion Generating Organism. Whenever we choose or act out of alignment with our story we generate negative emotions such as guilt or shame. (Have you ever noticed how the actions which ended up with the feeling of guilt or shame felt really good at the time?) However, when we follow the script as written by the ego, then we feel good, content and all the nice stuff. (Ever notice how good it feels to be self sacrificial or putting others first?).
Our beliefs, ideas and judgements are rarely formed from an experience of reality. They are programmed into our young pliable, and gullible minds as we seek to orient ourselves on this bizarre yet beautiful planet. That is when we are kids. And that programming sticks!
So we have the strange situation where we are feeling good or bad, righteous or shameful, innocent or guilty, based purely upon what someone else has programmed us to think. We are judging our choices more on how we think we should act than how that action feels in the moment. What is more, when we over-ride the programming and make the 'wrong' choice in the moment we are made to feel bad, either by others or by our ever diligent ego.
So every time I have made a choice which has made someone else feel 'bad', perhaps all I have done is upset their version of reality, their particular story, their version of right and wrong. Is that not just waking them up from their programming? Giving them an opportunity to connect with what is real rather than what they think should be happening. I thought I was being bad but I was actually being good!
Equally, each time I do a 'good' thing to or for someone is that not just confirming their view of reality? Allowing them to remain somnolent in their programming. I thought I was being good but I was actually being bad!
It gets horribly circular trying to identify the good in the bad and the bad in the good. All I would say is that whenever we are trying to categorise it is probably our ego in action, and so has little to do with reality.
Feel it in the moment, your heart will let you know, and then move onto the next moment.
Lose the judgement, its much simpler.
Much Love
Bill