I don't know

I have written before about cognitive dissonance:

"The discomfort we feel when we can't incorporate a piece of information into our existing world view is called 'cognitive dissonance.' It's an unpleasant sensation - like an itch you can't scratch. So it's something that we all try to avoid."

To describe my current experience as cognitively dissonant would be like saying Pavarotti could hold a note. It has been entertaining (substitute irritating/frustrating/disorienting/debilitating/constipating) to watch this mind f%£k unfold and my ability to observe this unfolding is deeply entwined with the experience. This newsletter is entitled Identity to Essence and that comes as close to our vision of aCREATIVEspace as we have heard.

My problem this week was my inability to engage in a problem, which has been a theme of late.

Someone asked if I would be able to do a piece on the Economy and Consciousness. A previous favourite topic of mine. When I attempted to access my data banks on the information previously filed in a big section called "Oh no, Bills talking about the economy again!" something was different. There was little charge, less judgment and very little interest. My mind trawled around for the usual catalysts...inequality, the banksters, gold manipulation and well there was nothing. 

My traditional position on the resolution of economic problems was that it required a shift in consciousness, echoing Einstein's you can't solve a problem at the level it was created. A more accurate view on that would be to move to a level where the problem cannot exist. Now I am not claiming to have ascended to a level of consciousness where scarcity is not a possibility, but there is a definite disconnect in my cause and effect thinking.

This kept showing up throughout the week and it seemed there was a stark choice as to how I could process information and respond to it. The lazy and familiar choice is at the level of identity. It's reflexive, predictable and defensive (and certainly from my view point a little tired and jaded). The second and more challenging choice is to step into essence. It seems simple but I have found that in that space there is often no file to access. It leaves you open and vulnerable and more often than not with no answers.

The Bill Ayling identity has never been comfortable with "I don't know", but as I see that identity journey toward essence it is something I am getting used to. Where there is an obvious answer or truth it is often in opposition to a previously held world view. If I am not making much sense then I am accurately describing what's going on in my mind, but in a place which strangely feels more expansive and full of possibility.

I came across this passage which seems to describe my current state quite nicely:

"We value our ignorance of what is to come. That may be the most important thing to understand about humans. It is the unknown that defines our existence. We are constantly searching. Not just for answers but for new questions, we are explorers. We explore our lives day by day."

with love

Bill