I Don't Know

Next month I am lucky enough to have secured a spot on a five day silent retreat with Adyashanti. Having flown to California not long ago to see him, the 20 minute drive to Woldingham Girls School where the retreat is taking place suggests that perhaps good things really do come to those who wait. 

To most reading this blog, the idea of Bill an an Adyashanti retreat is neither unusual nor actually that interesting. A typical way for Bill to spend time, although perhaps a little surprising to hear that Adyashanti is in England this time. So my silent retreat will be met with, well, silence. No need to explain. No need to expand.

However, like so many people I tend to be known by my context and to many others who know me but have little idea (or interest) in what I do they probably think Adyashanti is a type of Indian lager to be enjoyed with my Friday night curry. These are usually family and friends from the past who have either failed in their attempts to shake me off, or I have failed to shake them off...I can say what I like as very few of them even know I write a blog, although some of them would raise eyebrows at the thought of five nights in a girls boarding school!

This group are used to Bill doing weird stuff but show little interest in my "alternative" views. I enjoy this group and feel little, if any, need to share my ideas with them and consequently they provide a different type of silence. I am learning the art of silence in company where listening with respect and love is enough. 

Over time I have lost the need (and the desire) to be right and this is such a relief as I have come to recognise the fear and hostility which arises when people's version of reality is challenged, not to mention the energy it takes to defend yours. So increasingly I sit in silence enjoying an ice cold Adyashanti and bag of nuts, listening with no need to explain, no need to expand.

I was reassured when, in preparation for the retreat, I listened to an interview given by Adyashanti. By the end the interviewer implored him not to answer "I don't know", which was how he seemed to begin each of his responses. 

So, when people ask why I am going to share a dormitory with five strangers, without speaking, for five days, eating vegetarian food I can authentically answer "I don't know"

All is well

Lots of love

Go easy, tread lightly, free,

Love

Bill